Archive for the ‘CTA’ Category

Trolling metal hipsters

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

I decided to troll some metal hipsters, since hipsters, scenesters and associated fakes have invaded the heavy metal community in force for over a decade now. My guess was that if I told the simple truth, it would piss people off more than some ironic, contrived, public-image-oriented construction.

It seems I was correct.

Here’s the original message:

Official ANUS.com communique to all scenesters, hipsters and fakes


You came into this genre, which had an idea of its own.

Because you are weak, and you can't tell the difference between appearance and reality, you started using it for your own ends. To make yourself seem cool, either blockheaded kvlt or obliviously "open-minded."

You thought things like [artist]Dethklok[/artist] and brainless faux prog bands were really cool, in that ironic kind of hip way you like.

Everything you have done has not been about the music. It has not been about art or culture. It has been about you and your failing egos.

You want to make it a joke so you feel better about being the hopelessly normal and boring people you are. You want to hide how ordinary you are. We are not fooled.

We are taking this genre back. You, scenesters and hipsters and other people who do not understand the message behind this music and the spirit of its culture, are blight on a good thing. We are not interested in you or your failings.

Here is our official communication to you:

[img]http://www.anus.com/metal/about/news/images/sound_advice.jpg[/img]

Call To Action: Post This Everywhere

Posted in CTA | 1 Comment »

Call to action: Troll the self-righteous

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

A certain group of World of Warcraft player committed a desecration against an ancient Buddhist symbol of peace, and seem to think they’re clever for it:

1-300x200

While stopping to get a better look at the corpses, Bowtox realises that the pattern is, in fact, a Swastika. On closer investigation, it becomes obvious that the corpses have been deliberately arranged in order to form this shape. As a group begins to form around the symbol, local and general chat channels fill with character speculation regarding the symbol’s meaning.

When realising each of the corpses have names with racist overtones, Bowtox sees the symbol as sinister. He decides to encourage a spontaneous mob-based action to counteract any negativity involved.

> > > HERE IS THE TARGET < < <

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Call to action: Reddit “ListenToThis”

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

Reddit is a social media links list. That’s basically it. It’s hugely popular and Google loves it. It has subreddits, or sections where you can post links on specific topics. One such subreddit is “ListenToThis,” where people post links to YouTube videos with music they want to share.

This section needs to be flooded with the dark side of humanity: death metal, noise, morbid avantgarde, torture music, anything dark and full of horror. People after all need to be able to see both sides of any issue, and in life, that’s that every joy is balanced by a horror.

>>> HERE IS THE TARGET <<<

You’ll need to register for an account on reddit to post.

Posted in CTA | 2 Comments »

Call to action: Classical Forum Metal Section

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

Picture, for a moment, a classical forum on the internet. Since the internet attracts people who want to compensate for their failing egos, it’s a land of Kings with no castles. The classical forum amplifies this. Now they have a chance to really get falsely elitist and make everyone else feel bad not for not listening to classical, but for not listening to the right classical. It’s Soviet and hippie at once.

Now imagine this classical site has a metal forum, where Opeth and Dream Theater are seen as excellent and Demilich, Gorguts, Immolation and Morbid Angel are distorted pointless noise. Now imagine yourself going to this forum and trolling the hell out of these self-righteous pricks and showing them that even on the internet, a small man in real life is still a small man.

>>> HERE IS THE TARGET <<<

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Call to action: Wiktionary logo

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Notorious neurotic netards and pedophiles Wiktionary would like a new logo. In typical fashion, they have posted a rambling, neurotic statement requesting that we, the people(P.B.U.T.) of the intertard, submit to them some logos so they can prove how clever they are by rejecting them all and replacing them with a 48-point semicolon in the Garamond font, which is obviously wittier.

No proposals should be added to this page until 2009-05-19 00:01 to allow time for the wording of the following notes to be finalised.

This page is for nominations for the new Wiktionary logo vote. Each proposal should be added under a new section title with a short descriptive name. Logos from the previous vote can be included, and users are encouraged to design new ones. It does not have to be the author of the logo that proposes it, but this is likely to be more common for the newly created ones. The proposal should consist of:

* an image that is 135×135 px to be used as the logo
* either an image that is 16×16 px to be used as the favicon, or a short description of how such an image could be created.

After a proposal has been added, please abide by the following:

* Anyone may comment on or improve any proposal.
* The logo in the proposal may be replaced by an improved version of the same logo.
* Only one logo should be present in one section. Multiple similar proposals should have multiple sections.
* Do not vote on this page.

The proposals on this page should not be modified after 2009-07-31 23:59, voting (in a manner yet to be determined) will then occur.

I suggest one and only one principle: rape, rape, rape to rule. Sodomize their draft process, upload your favorite images (this is a democracy after all!!1!) and make sure they get their panties in knots for the next eight decades discussing whether to censor or not, when we all know they’ll just declare themselves Not Notable, stamp [Citation Needed] on their foreheads and die in a bizarre ritual suicide involving suet and nitrous oxide.

>>> HERE IS THE TARGET <<<

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Call to Action: Republicans in Denial

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

Let me tell you a little story about a conservative party in denial.

They lost an election, and started to try to find a new way to prove themselves. They hit on “Freedom.” Why? It sounds good.

Problem: it’s what their opposition also endorses. So now we have two parties who are afraid to make any moves that might be unpopular.

Who loses? The people, of course, because they now have no leadership that’s willing to stand up to the selfishness of the average individual.

But a round of dedicated trolling could change that:

Conservative.com and Republican.com forums

They need reminding that:

  • Republicans lost because most of the country disagrees with their values.
  • They have no media support.
  • If “freedom” is what they’re offering, Democrats offer more of it — and a welfare state.
  • “Freedom” is a negative goal, not something positive.
  • Someone needs to stand up for the above-average folks who are going to get all their stuff jacked, their taxes jacked, and run out of town by this unruly mob of city folks, ghetto dwellers, strung out intellekshuals and other disillusioned underachievers.

These Republicans are in denial. They need people to show up and politely remind them of the truths above. This will cause them to explode for the lulz. Sodomy ueber alles!

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Posted in CTA | 2 Comments »